Five Minute Friday, Identity, Mothering, support, Tough Times

Support in the Rain

I’m part of a community called Five Minute Friday.  You are given a word prompt and five minutes to write on that word!  Today’s word is “support”.

I was pregnant with my fifth child. You know, when you’re in your first trimester and you feel overemotional, sick, tired, grumpy.  I loaded my six year old, my four year old and my two year old onto the Halifax City bus.  The stroller my two year old was in accidentally bumped the toe of an obese lady sitting at the very beginning of the seats. Her foot was over the line but I apologized sincerely and sat down, exhausted.  We had just come from visiting my son who was sick in the hospital.  It was supper time and everyone was hungry.  The bus was packed.  Standing room only.

Two minutes into the ride, the lady, very loudly, said. “You are so ignorant.  You don’t care about people who are handicapped.  You did that on purpose.  You ran over my foot and now it hurts and you are a (insert insult here…I can’t remember the specifics).  I smiled and said “I’m so sorry. I really did not mean to hurt you.”

“Yes you did!”  She proclaimed loudly and started with her insults again.

My bus drive wasn’t long, but it felt like forever.

Finally, I stood up for myself, with tears running down my face.  I got off the bus at my stop. It seemed appropriate that it would be raining buckets outside.

Something amazing happened though.  A young asian lady, who spoke no english, came over to me and put her umbrella over my head and walked with me, in complete silence to my apartment.  We hugged.  She left.  I have not seen her since.

To me, that is support.  Random support, but it doesn’t matter.  She bore my burden and covered me with grace.  It doesn’t matter what kind of support you receive…be it regular, inconsistent, often or not.  If it’s positive support, you have all you need.  You are rich, rich, rich indeed.

STOP.

You know, they say that the best indicator of a couple lasting for a lifetime is the kind of support they have around them.  If the people around them believe they should be together and love them through the difficulties, then they are more likely to last and thrive.

I say it’s also a good indicator of the kind of parent you will be and the kind of children you will raise.

Sometimes we have to work to build community and supports but I have found that God provides those good things, in his perfect timing.  I am so grateful for all the people who have been, are, and will be supportive of my family.  Some of those people have been supportive through books and blogs but they are still there.  Encouraging us to run the race well.

And so, even though I may not have a lot of material possessions or money, I am the most wealthy girl anyone has ever known.  Because I am loved and supported.

If you are supported, you also are the most wealthy, ever. 

I’m not focusing on what I don’t have anymore. Because I’m too grateful for what I do have.

What kind of supports are you thankful for?  Thanks so much for reading and for your “support”!  Love you, always.  IMG_4159IMG_4089DSCF5696

Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2  

 

 

 

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Anger, Five Minute Friday

Neighbour (Five Minute Friday)

I’m part of a group called Five Minute Friday , where they give a word prompt and you write on that word for five minutes.  Today’s word prompt was “neighbour”.  Enjoy and leave a comment! 

I stomped up the stairs to my neighbours house when I was four months pregnant with my first.  I was so angry.  Those 18 year old “rig pigs” were driving Ferrari cars, carrying big screen T.Vs into their house, bringing home girls, having parties and all of the judgements I was making towards them now had a firm hold when they did something unthinkable.  They smoked.  It was a non smoking home and we were renting the basement suite, they were in the upper level.  The smoke came to my apartment and I was already so sick, I could barely function. I was overcome with nausea and anger that they would even dare.  So, I marched up there and confronted my neighbours.  I was not nice.

They denied it even happened.  I KNEW it did.  I could smell it, it was making me feel more sick.

Fast forward 11 years….my next door neighbours have done the unthinkable.  They have been unreasonable with my kids.  They yelled at my son for driving his scooter in their driveway, and then told me I needed to try harder.  Yes, because when you’re feeding a baby, cooking supper, and making sure your toddler doesn’t have a temper tantrum while he’s waiting for supper and your three older kids are outside playing, I should be trying harder to be a good mom.   Oh, and when your three year old touches the tip of his foot on their sprinkler, from the sidewalk, while you’re at the door talking to another neighbour, and they yell, loudly and angrily, from their house to have a conversation about boundaries with the said three year old, you recognize that maybe, just maybe these type of people are going to be a bit more of a challenge.

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The difference in these 11 years has nothing to do with a change in environment but instead, I can live with my neighbours because I can live with myself.  I’ve grown to love myself a whole lot more and judge myself a whole lot less.

Was I impressed with my neighbours?  No.  I was upset for them yelling at my kids about something so ridiculous.  I was upset for them accusing me of not trying hard.  BUT, this time, although there has been one conversation, it was not unkind and did not end in yelling.  I’m not sure how they think of me, how they’ve been judging since the said conversation or the other sprinkler incident, but it doesn’t matter anymore.  I can let these incidence’s go quickly now.  I can surrender them to Jesus and move on.  I can know that the opinions of others have no reflection on me, but instead reflect the one who is holding the opinion.

To love your neighbour well, you must first love yourself.  Love who you are, who God made you to be, and where you are.  Then, you’ll really love your neighbour, instead of just practicing kindness and performing for them.  

Go ahead, love who you are. The world needs you too. 

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Love,

Kelly